sidneyparker921

I think I said the same thing last year, goodbye 2020. Little did I know that 2021 would be the craziest and hardest year yet.

2021 was a year of letting go. I learned not to have expectations. Not in people, the economy, jobs, life or even myself. Change was a constant roller coaster. Plans were cancelled without notice, people stayed isolated more than ever and then there were the goodbyes. There never seemed to be the chance to really say goodbye.

I’ll be honest, it’s taking a long time to really understand and accept that some of my favorite people have left this world. There’s a fog that surrounds me at times as I reach for the phone to call them, only to realize there’s no cell service in heaven. It’s hard and what I wouldn’t give for another day or even an hour or two.

2021 was the year I figured out I needed to put myself first. It took getting sick. I thought I was pretty healthy until I went in for a routine physical and the doctors found cancer in two entirely different parts of my body. I was lucky as both were early stages. I have a bad habit of putting off physicals for years. It had been four or five this time. I am so grateful for the little voice in my head that kept telling me ‘it’s time, just make the darn appointment’.

2021 has tested me. It’s made me question so many parts of my life. What my goals are, who I spend my time with, and what I waste time doing. I’ve decided I’m not making resolutions this year but promises. Promises to myself. I spent the last part of 2021 soul searching for what I truly want in life, what makes me the happiest and what I want to be remembered for.

Starting today 1-1-2022…

I woke up with immense gratitude. I survived a year from hell. I’m getting stronger every day and I surround myself with love. I am enough and I have enough.

My desire for my life is to share love. I spend my days listening and helping people feel good, be it my job or my words. I want to add a bit of magic to every person I cross paths with. So many people are hurting inside and they can be great at hiding it. I know because I’m really good at hiding pain. A smile, a hug and a kind word can make a huge difference. Go the extra mile. It fills my heart.

I’m distancing myself from toxicity. I’ve stepped back from people who drain me or cause me to doubt myself. Friends who, let’s be frank, don’t really give a damn about anything but their own agenda. Life is short and I don’t have time to waste. I can’t change anyones mindset. I can’t make the pain go away nor can I stop someone from repeatedly looking at the bad or making stupid decisions. You have to want to help yourself. By surrounding myself with like minded people, I have so much more to give.

I’m making myself a priority. It means sleep and vacations. It means eating healthy and exercise. It means laughter and wonder and doing what makes me feel incredible. It means sharing the joy inside of me with those around me. I wrote this list and put it where I see it multiple times a day.

Start each day with gratitude.

Love what you do.

Walk away from toxicity and drama.

Take a walk and breathe, notice everything single thing around you.

Looks for the miracles.

Look for the magic.

Make a difference to someone. Start small and add more each day and notice how good you begin to feel.

Do something for yourself, something to fill you up.

End your day with gratitude

Remember, you are amazing, you are beautiful and you are loved. Follow your heart and do what’s right for you, not what others want of you. There is this incredible human inside waiting to break free and change the world

Happy New Year

XOXO

Sidney